Good Days

When you have MDD it is crazy important to acknowledge the good days; not only for the “obvious” but also for memory retrieval on the not-so-hot days. Today, was a PHENOMENAL day.  Although it resulted in a migraine and some seriously radiating pain, my smile is genuine and worthy of being recorded.  My Mom and I went to the Hilton Apple Festival where I purchased an uh-mazing birdhouse, tie-dye onesie for Evie and some super fantastic rings to add to my collection.  I met the MOST talented lady who is a magical ring-maker (so jealous of her!!) and I believe we are going to be long time friends.  PLEASE check her out via Instagram or Facebook!

P.S.  Potato Pancakes with sour cream served by incredibly well mannered boy scouts, major, m a j o r, highlight.

 

Being the Hero

Although I have been (long) off my Dr. Phil kick, those three words always sing true in any (well handled) conflicting situation.  Someone always has to, “be the hero”.

Today, i was given the chance to be the hero and I fucking took it; I have not felt this empowered in wayyyyy too long of a time.  As I was exiting the mental health center where I attend my group therapy classes, this mouthy psycho-cunt yelled out a choice rumor (directed my way) in front of a large group of people.  Immediately, this pathetically-vicious behavior brought me back to the night when my sister’s husband was yelling from the top of the stairs, “get the fuck out!” and I was too advil p.m. intoxicated to defend myself.

However, as I continued towards the road, it brought me even further back, to high school haters, and my immediate urge was to handle things now as I did then – I  wanted to turn around and pop the troll in her fugly face.  Although she is three times my size and naturally just looks more pregnant than I ever will, that has never stopped me from dropping a bitch before.  The most unfortunate consequence of this concept would (surprisingly) not be that I would be viewed as a pregnant woman starting a fist-fight, but that Rocky Road would most definitely hit me back (T.P.T like) and obviously, I have to put Evie first.

Fortunately, I was able to quickly spot the error of my de ja vu ways and made the best of all decisions – I would be the hero and just continue on with my day without further pause.  Hell fucking yes.  I looked at the entire situation from every angle and realized in the end that what I truly felt was nothing but Pity.  I feel so terribly sorry for someone who’s life is so pathetic that they actually lower themselves to standing outside of a mental health facility trying to spread rumors about a patient being victimized by an employee, to other patients.  I feel sorry for someone who has been going to group therapy twice as long as I have; yet has not learned any other coping skills to get them through their (self-induced) miserable life.

I know who I am and I know my truths. I have learned a limitless list of skills in the months that I have been attending group therapy and not a day passes by when those new abilities are not in action.  I could give two ginormous shits what She-Man thinks or says about me, unhealthy people focus on unhealthy things.

Right now, Piggy stands proud of her low-level “achievement” to (hopefully) enlist everyone to share her rumor and be so equally deplorable, but she will still go home today the same empty, immature, pitiful “human being” that she was when she woke up this morning.  Whereas I, I feel more confident, more proud and more secure with myself than I have in months.

Even a Sasquatch has to come out of the dark dirty woods at some point, I can only hope the same is true for my new Fan-girl.  

 

WAZE! Now!

I have been meaning to post this for forever and today is the day!!  Dudes … if you are not Waze’ing, you are just Wrong’ing.  Fact.  Waze is community based navigation (GPS), meaning, all road reports come from users and are up to the minute.  If you pass a pig who is waiting in that shady spot on the highway, report it so that all the drivers that come behind you will know when to slow their shit down.  Heavy traffic? Construction?  Crap in the middle of the road?  Car on the shoulder?  Report it!  Community, ya’ll!

IN ADDITION!

  • I use iCal faithfully and as long as I include the address in my schedule, all I have to do is open Waze and it automatically charts me to that location.  Calendar Sync Amazingness!
  • Locations can be saved as favorites, but you can also see previous locations you Wazed to so instead of having to type them in, just scroll and click.
  • You can actually schedule trips in Waze and it will notify you in advance, what time you will need to leave (based on road conditions) in order to reach your destination on time.
  • If you take trips to and from a location regularly, Waze catches on, you don’t have to tell it you are on your way home from work because Waze already knows.
  • Searching is amazing, just type in the name of the place you are looking for OR the type (i.e. gas station) and kablamo!
  • Lastly, you can program a message into Waze that is announced when you reach your destination.  The default is to not leave your child in the car (lets face it – that could be a life saver for some) but I set mine to remind me not to leave my KEYS in the car (repeat offender here).

I am certain there are additional (valuable*) benefits that I am forgetting or simply, unaware of, but who needs more than the above to be sold??  Check out the Waze website for a demo or just get with it and download the Waze App ASAP!

*non-“valuable” benefits:  you are able to choose the icon you wish to represent you as a driver, you can include photos in your reports, it is optional to chat with other users, etc.

13 Reasons to watch 13 Reasons Why

There are SO many seasoned shows out there that my ADHD kicks in hardcore when scanning through my multiple TV entertainment sources (cable, Apple TV, Fire stick, Netflix and Hulu subs) trying to find something I have the attention span to watch for periods extending beyond a simple 2 hour movie.
In Dr. Phil’s episode on bullying leading to suicide, he mentioned the Netflix series, 13 Reasons Why, and as a previously bullied teen who can totally identify with this increasingly active problem (thanks to technology & social media), I was immediately keen.  I viewed the entire season (13 episodes), in 24 hours.

13 Reasons Why is  1.) Enthralling  2.) Captivating  3.) Tormenting  4.) Eye Opening   5.) Engrossing  6.) Unimaginable  7.) Upsetting  8.) Thought Provoking  9.) Passionate  10.) Intense  11.) Memorable  12.) Hardcore  13.) NECESSARY.

Bullying … GET. INVOLVED.

Ink to Live By

Over the past few months I have been using the (proper) needle to express what gets me through each day … from the dragonfly (scar coverup) that I photographed in Denver during my post-suicidal hotel stay to a quote from a coin from my sister when things first grew dark and finishing (for now) with an ode to the two people who stand by me every single day no matter what.  But along the way, I had the most amazing honor of giving my Dad an early Father’s day gift of his first tattoo, one that he secretly always wanted and he even gifted me with the responsibility of designing it. The three of us went to the Rochester Tattoo Convention and found an amazing artist who gave my Dad such a fantastic experience that as I suspected may happen, he now wants more! 🙂

Please enjoy our expressions and ignore my fat finger as my bathroom mirror recently tried to cut it in half.

Absolutely RIVETING

If you thought 20/20’s episode on 1/06/17 about Scientology was interesting, don’t go another day without watching Leah Remini’s documentary series on A&E – each episode (6 in total) is dedicated to both featuring a person or persons who left the church, along with a form of education on either Scientology in general or pieces of its inner workings.  I honestly thought I would never understand this overpopulated and incredibly rich CULT – but that’s definitely not the case.  I finally get it – and it’s disgusting. I think Leah is a fucking badass and hope she’s getting paid WELL for the mind tripping work she’s doing.  Watch this shit, you’ll be mesmerized.

 

Art Amazingness

This happy painting was done by a fellow PROS member who is celebrating today, Happy Birthday to you Steve!!   And thank you again for bringing this ray of light into my living room life!