Day 5

For better or worse, nothing describes my life better than Mr. Gere’s quote(s) over there. I resigned my Catholic faith years ago but I have spiritual faith and I believe in the Universe [U].  However, just as they say, “God does not give you more than you can handle,” I think the same for the U, and the U most definitely sees me as someone who can manage a SHIT TON.

Once upon a time … nurse A came in to take my blood (done every 3 days).  Nurse A was one of the most adorable, personable nurses in the pregnancy-problem ward and my blood draw was her last task of the day.  About 10 minutes post Round 1, A reappeared in my doorway with more needles and vials in her hands, sharing that she accidentally put the wrong label on my blood and the policy calls for auto-redraw.

Round 2, nurse A accidentally blew out one of my veins, but she DID get some blood in the vials and dropped them off at the desk before heading home.  15 minutes or so later, nurse B takes the doorway’s place and says, “you are probably not going to like this, but we need to take your blood again, A did not draw enough.”

Round 3, they called for a SWAT nurse who specializes in finding good veins with zero excavation.  Third time was a charm and after crushing a handful of heat packs, I was left with this temporary (but beautiful!) tattoo to remind me of the good times had today …

I giggled my way through the battle of the blood; it was distressing not dangerous.  If you think about it, it takes SOOOO much effort to be pissed off, annoyed, stressed out, or judgmental.  Being empathetic, accommodating and compassionate, that shit is blood pressure free.

Give someone a break today and just giggle!

Being the Hero

Although I have been (long) off my Dr. Phil kick, those three words always sing true in any (well handled) conflicting situation.  Someone always has to, “be the hero”.

Today, i was given the chance to be the hero and I fucking took it; I have not felt this empowered in wayyyyy too long of a time.  As I was exiting the mental health center where I attend my group therapy classes, this mouthy psycho-cunt yelled out a choice rumor (directed my way) in front of a large group of people.  Immediately, this pathetically-vicious behavior brought me back to the night when my sister’s husband was yelling from the top of the stairs, “get the fuck out!” and I was too advil p.m. intoxicated to defend myself.

However, as I continued towards the road, it brought me even further back, to high school haters, and my immediate urge was to handle things now as I did then – I  wanted to turn around and pop the troll in her fugly face.  Although she is three times my size and naturally just looks more pregnant than I ever will, that has never stopped me from dropping a bitch before.  The most unfortunate consequence of this concept would (surprisingly) not be that I would be viewed as a pregnant woman starting a fist-fight, but that Rocky Road would most definitely hit me back (T.P.T like) and obviously, I have to put Evie first.

Fortunately, I was able to quickly spot the error of my de ja vu ways and made the best of all decisions – I would be the hero and just continue on with my day without further pause.  Hell fucking yes.  I looked at the entire situation from every angle and realized in the end that what I truly felt was nothing but Pity.  I feel so terribly sorry for someone who’s life is so pathetic that they actually lower themselves to standing outside of a mental health facility trying to spread rumors about a patient being victimized by an employee, to other patients.  I feel sorry for someone who has been going to group therapy twice as long as I have; yet has not learned any other coping skills to get them through their (self-induced) miserable life.

I know who I am and I know my truths. I have learned a limitless list of skills in the months that I have been attending group therapy and not a day passes by when those new abilities are not in action.  I could give two ginormous shits what She-Man thinks or says about me, unhealthy people focus on unhealthy things.

Right now, Piggy stands proud of her low-level “achievement” to (hopefully) enlist everyone to share her rumor and be so equally deplorable, but she will still go home today the same empty, immature, pitiful “human being” that she was when she woke up this morning.  Whereas I, I feel more confident, more proud and more secure with myself than I have in months.

Even a Sasquatch has to come out of the dark dirty woods at some point, I can only hope the same is true for my new Fan-girl.  



I imagine we all lose our way at some point in our lives.  Bad things happen and the good things, well, they disappear.  A few months ago I found a bunch of old work folders labeled with client names and one was simply stamped, “Gratitude” and it made me think.  When I was working (pre-disability), I made great effort to make gratitude a part of my daily life, whether it was thanking someone over the phone or sending a handwritten note or even something grander like delivering ice cream bars to a client on a hot day.  But bad things had happened since those hard working, gratitude filled days, and I allowed the good things to disappear.  I  knew that needed to change.

Around the same time I found that folder, a mentor showed me this video (below).  As a nature (and Ted Talk) lover, it inspired me immensely.  I encourage you to have children ages 6+ watch along with you, more than once…you never know, it just may chance the way you all view the world – together.   **NOTE:  FULL ATTENTION is needed once it hits 4:36! Lastly, take a few minutes out of your day, not just today but EVERY day, and remind yourself of the things you have in your life to be grateful for.  Tell someone thank you, tell someone you love them, send a handwritten note or thank you card in the mail – the postal mail.  Call your parents instead of texting them.  Play outside with your kids.  And please, watch this video again and again … and thank you for being here, I am grateful for you!!!

One Up.


images-1Unknown-1I found that Netflix no longer offers this movie but I am SO passionate about it I have an offer to make – if you want to see it but cannot afford to buy it, send me an email and a preference of digital media or dvd (along with an email address or mailing address) and I will send you the movie on my dime.


Think of someone who is having a hard time right now and reach out to them today in a way that you normally do not  (i.e. if you usually text, call them.)Phone-clip-art-images-free-clipart-images-clipartix