Being the Hero

Although I have been (long) off my Dr. Phil kick, those three words always sing true in any (well handled) conflicting situation.  Someone always has to, “be the hero”.

Today, i was given the chance to be the hero and I fucking took it; I have not felt this empowered in wayyyyy too long of a time.  As I was exiting the mental health center where I attend my group therapy classes, this mouthy psycho-cunt yelled out a choice rumor (directed my way) in front of a large group of people.  Immediately, this pathetically-vicious behavior brought me back to the night when my sister’s husband was yelling from the top of the stairs, “get the fuck out!” and I was too advil p.m. intoxicated to defend myself.

However, as I continued towards the road, it brought me even further back, to high school haters, and my immediate urge was to handle things now as I did then – I  wanted to turn around and pop the troll in her fugly face.  Although she is three times my size and naturally just looks more pregnant than I ever will, that has never stopped me from dropping a bitch before.  The most unfortunate consequence of this concept would (surprisingly) not be that I would be viewed as a pregnant woman starting a fist-fight, but that Rocky Road would most definitely hit me back (T.P.T like) and obviously, I have to put Evie first.

Fortunately, I was able to quickly spot the error of my de ja vu ways and made the best of all decisions – I would be the hero and just continue on with my day without further pause.  Hell fucking yes.  I looked at the entire situation from every angle and realized in the end that what I truly felt was nothing but Pity.  I feel so terribly sorry for someone who’s life is so pathetic that they actually lower themselves to standing outside of a mental health facility trying to spread rumors about a patient being victimized by an employee, to other patients.  I feel sorry for someone who has been going to group therapy twice as long as I have; yet has not learned any other coping skills to get them through their (self-induced) miserable life.

I know who I am and I know my truths. I have learned a limitless list of skills in the months that I have been attending group therapy and not a day passes by when those new abilities are not in action.  I could give two ginormous shits what She-Man thinks or says about me, unhealthy people focus on unhealthy things.

Right now, Piggy stands proud of her low-level “achievement” to (hopefully) enlist everyone to share her rumor and be so equally deplorable, but she will still go home today the same empty, immature, pitiful “human being” that she was when she woke up this morning.  Whereas I, I feel more confident, more proud and more secure with myself than I have in months.

Even a Sasquatch has to come out of the dark dirty woods at some point, I can only hope the same is true for my new Fan-girl.  



I imagine we all lose our way at some point in our lives.  Bad things happen and the good things, well, they disappear.  A few months ago I found a bunch of old work folders labeled with client names and one was simply stamped, “Gratitude” and it made me think.  When I was working (pre-disability), I made great effort to make gratitude a part of my daily life, whether it was thanking someone over the phone or sending a handwritten note or even something grander like delivering ice cream bars to a client on a hot day.  But bad things had happened since those hard working, gratitude filled days, and I allowed the good things to disappear.  I  knew that needed to change.

Around the same time I found that folder, a mentor showed me this video (below).  As a nature (and Ted Talk) lover, it inspired me immensely.  I encourage you to have children ages 6+ watch along with you, more than once…you never know, it just may chance the way you all view the world – together.   **NOTE:  FULL ATTENTION is needed once it hits 4:36! Lastly, take a few minutes out of your day, not just today but EVERY day, and remind yourself of the things you have in your life to be grateful for.  Tell someone thank you, tell someone you love them, send a handwritten note or thank you card in the mail – the postal mail.  Call your parents instead of texting them.  Play outside with your kids.  And please, watch this video again and again … and thank you for being here, I am grateful for you!!!

Enjoy Now, Worry Later

If you are anything like me, worry is an activity that can eat away at valuable time throughout your day.  The evil “what if’s” are normal (yet annoying) protrusions we all experience but luckily, I have learned a way to stay more mindful during my daily routine by simply doing one thing – postponing my worries for a scheduled time each day.  Sounds a little whack right?  That’s what I thought until I put it into action and I’m here to tell you, postponement is dope!

Here is how I have learned to attack this interesting activity:

  1. I chose a worry time that worked for me, 6:30 pm.  Find a time that works for you, when you can be alone and even better, after dinnertime when hunger isn’t on your mind 🙂
  2. I chose a worry space.  Find a space in or around your home that is relaxing, lacking in distractions, and conducive to problem solving.
  3. Throughout the day when worries pop into my head, I simply push them to my postponement time.  I use the notepad on my iPhone to keep a list on days that I feel I won’t remember important worries. The key here is that you are not avoiding the dilemmas, you are simply setting aside specific time to give them your full attention.
  4. I chose a period of time to commit to attending to my worries.  At first, I only gave myself 10 minutes because I was afraid that if I worried for too long it would ruin the rest of my night (I’m just sayin’).  On an ongoing basis, I average about 20 to 45 minutes of worry time, depending on the nature of my worries and the amount of time I invest in the problem solving process for each one.

Now, of course there are some worries that we simply have no control over and while you may acknowledge them, it is important not to waste too much of your worry time on the “what if’s” that are just that … so here’s one last tip for you:

When it comes to the future, there are things we cannot control as well but I will be back with some pointers in regards to deciding which worries are worth problem solving and which are not.  For now, I encourage everyone to giving worry postponement a try, you just may be surprised by how much lighter you feel throughout the day!!!

**NOTE:  Material credit to Pro’s at Genessee Mental Health Center

Nookie then Nuptials

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I think the world has it backwards.  The people (age 25 +) who want to reproduce should focus on doing so FIRST and later, aspire to finding/marrying the love of their lives.  This is what frustrates the hell out of me – enough with the fucking betterments, our wheels need reinvention.

Backwards Band-aiding:  The divorce rate is high, how do we do a better job of repairing bad marriages?

Progressive Pensiveness:  The divorce rate is high, how do we stop people from marrying the wrong partner?

note:  both terms are my own.  you’re welcome.

People don’t get divorced because of money issues, adultery, broken trust, loss of attraction, etc.  People get divorced, all of them, for the same reason and one reason onlywrong choice of partner.  BOOM.  It’s like the “in bed” game.  You can end every “divorced because” statement with, “because he/she was the wrong choice of partner”.  I don’t care what you say, there are no buts – and you know EXACTLY what I mean miss lady (whoever you are, I feel you).

“But he WAS the right partner, he just made a bad decision when he killed that guy.”  You wouldn’t be divorcing him regardless of his life-term in prison, unless he was the wrong choice of partner.

“But it was my fault, I cheated on him.  I wanted to make it work but he wouldn’t give me a chance!”  Gurrrrl, you wouldn’t have shagged a stranger unless you made the wrong choice of partner.

Now.  Do they have the option to stick it out and dodge the big D?  Of course, but why force themselves into staying with the wrong partner?  For the kids? Fuck that.  Way to show the kids how to settle for less than they deserve.  Everyone deserves to be as happy as they can be, no one is truly so when married to … you got it 🙂

Smart for a Sec

Shortly after completing the FREE-2-hour-delivery-for-Prime-Members-someday-soon dance (in my head), angry eyebrows returned.  Many of my main Subscribe and Save items suddenly suffered from immense inflation; “unrelated” my ass.  Unquestionably, I would MUCH rather get my things at reasonable rates in 2 days than pay inflated prices on everything so some people can have those same things today.  (note: that justification makes sense in my head, my apologies if not mutual)

Amazon 2 hour

Amazon SubscribePriceIncrease*Image #1:  Screenshot of App screens in App store.  Image #2:  Screenshot of price change notifications; compare price in red to price of last shipment.  Summation: Balls.