(NICU) Day 5 – Eggs

Please read this from beginning to end …

On Sunday I was discharged from the hospital, so I brought all of my things home to then repack for my move into the Ronald McDonald house on Monday morning (5 blocks from the hospital vs. my 30 minute drive from home). In my head, I saw myself getting a good night’s sleep in my own bed and waking refreshed, ready to load up the car and start this new 2 month adventure in the NICU … unfortunately, that is not exactly how things went.

When I awoke on Monday I felt like total shit. Nauseous, faint, exhausted beyond belief, and EMOTIONAL as bloody hell. I text my Mom and told her how I was physically feeling, in return, she reminded me that I did just have a baby on Friday. BABY SHMAYBE! In my head – that’s not who I am.  I am the person who has a baby and hosts a luau the next day. Nevermind I am 41 which in baby making years is way old (I don’t give a fuck how old Janet Jackson was); inside – I am still a young 27!

I text my Mom again, asking if my Dad had gone hunting for the day (fishing to find out if she had transportation to come save me from myself) and when she responded, “Yes…” that was it, the tears didn’t just flow out of my face those bastards RAINstormed. However, unsurprisingly when it comes to my Mom, she then wrote, “do you need me to come over?” YESsssssssssssss!!!!  I replied, “yes I am losing it. I will come pick you up,” and off I went to scrape my windshield.

When I pulled into my Mom’s driveway she was already standing inside the porch waiting for me but as she opened the door, I noticed she was juggling a bunch of red lidded tupperware containers. I won’t get into the 500 considerations that passed through my head regarding those but I quickly refocused on my happiness to see her and can’t even remember what I mumbled through my tears when she slid into my passenger seat.

As we made the long 60 second drive over to my house she said, “I’ve got eggs, milk to scramble them, and turkey sausage! You cannot start the day without a good breakfast!”  First thoughtkeeping in mind my hormonal stateAre you fucking kidding me Mom? I am having a total breakdown and your instinct is to make me EGGS?

We found our way inside and while relaxing on the couch, watching (and hearing) my Mom make her way through my pots and pans, I cannot deny there was a reactive rumble brewing in my stomach and weight rising from my shoulders. Then, even after proclaiming to not even be hungry, I finished almost an entire plate of the most tasty scrambled eggs and turkey sausage I had ever had in my life and an hour later my Mom and I had everything in the car ready to go.

As I sit here watching my little one fight her way to freedom, I only hope that I will break open the eggs when the time is right. If I am even 1/10th of the Mother that my Mom is … baby Evie is one of the luckiest preemies on the planet. I abhor there being one calendared day of the year dedicated to showing your Mom some gratitude, it is like using Valentine’s day to buy flowers – use today to tell your Mom that you are thankful for her; send her a card in the mail for no reason (or Holiday) at all and hug her as if you have never hugged her before. You never know when you might just need a good breakfast.